FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

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EmetEdadsBeard
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Re: Favourite jokes

Just been to see the doctor, he said I was paranoid!

Well he didn't actually say it just that'south what the **** was thinking..................... :curl:

'Never argue with an idiot, they elevate yous down to their level then beat you with their feel!

Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite jokes

Post by Trojan 67 »

Brother came home yesterday to find all his doors torn off.

He said, " What sort off sicko does that to an Advent calender ?"

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Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite jokes

Postal service by Trojan 67 »

Just bought a Christmas Tree.The banana asked " Will you be putting this upward yourself ?"

I replied " No you sicko, it's going upwardly in the living room."

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Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite jokes

Mail service by Trojan 67 »

I am effin knackered.

Just come in from the garden after painting all the rocks white, merely in case the lowlife drug dealing hoodie neighbor fancies a snowball fight.

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Re: Favourite jokes

Post by Trojan 67 »

Walked out the house this morning and the lowlife drug dealing hoodie neighbor hit me with a block of cheese.

I reared on him and said " That wasn't very mature."

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Re: Favourite jokes

Post by Trojan 67 »

EmetEdadsBeard wrote:Just been to meet the dr., he said I was paranoid!

Well he didn't actually say it but that's what the t**t was thinking..................... :roll:

Gars goes to see his compress and says “ I’m hearing voices from the groin area.”

Shrink says “ ignore it … they’re talking b*llocks.”

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CraigUnder
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Re: Favourite jokes

Mail by CraigUnder »

I just bought a Christmas nowadays for my mate, I remember he'll actually like it considering he'due south been quite lone recently.

its a joseph fritzl "grow your own sex doll".

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Re: Favourite jokes

Post by Trojan 67 »

A vampire bat arrives back in the cave, its face up dripping in blood. All the other bats get excited and ask where he got it.

“Follow me,” says the bat. Off they fly out of the cave, over the hills, across the river and into the forest.

“See that tree over in that location,” says the bat. “Yes,” they all reply.

“Well I f*cking didn’t,” said the bat.

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Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite Jokes

Post past Trojan 67 »

Order at present for Christmas, the compilation comprehend versions you thought y'all would never hear :

Susan Boyle â€â€Å" Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me

Stevie Wonder â€â€Å" I Tin See Clearly Now

Nick Griffin â€â€Å" Black Or White

Katie Price â€â€Å" Similar A Virgin

Rihanna â€â€Å" Hit Me Baby Ane More Time

Michael Jackson â€â€Å" I’1000 Forever Blowing Bubbles

Josef Fritzel â€â€Å" Love Shack

Stephen Hawking â€â€Å" I’m Still Standing

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Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite jokes

Postal service past Trojan 67 »

A mate just called me in tears. His wife has left him, taken his prized Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish !

Poor b*stard …

… no woman no Sky … :(

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Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite jokes

Post by Trojan 67 »

Two Doctors talking in a pub and ane says “I’ve been conveying a guilty undercover all my working life. I’ve been having sex with my patients.”

Other Medico says “You’re non the first General Practitioner that’s done it and you won’t be the terminal. We’re all Human, information technology happens.”

First Doctor says “I’thou not a GP, I’thousand a Vet.”

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Trojan 67
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Re: Favourite jokes

Post by Trojan 67 »

When travelling in extreme atmospheric condition conditions the Government take advised everyone to accept with them the following :

Hot h2o bottle

Flask of hot drink/soup

High energy nutrient confined

Shovel

Thermal blanket

Hazard low-cal

I looked a right dick carrying that lot on the motorbus this morning.

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